These cuts show me that I'm alive, the scares remind me that nothing lasts forever.

Hey, so yea I know haven’t posted anything in a while, I have been oober busy and have had nothing really to talk about. But now I kinda do. I am having a really hard time staying motivated when I realize that once I pick myself back up there’s just another thing to knock me down again, kinda makes me wanna just stay down. There is just always that little knot in my stomach everywhere I go reminding me of that.

But I DID run the jingle jog in the coldest weather I have ever run in. And I DID make a ginger bread manger. Also I DID make all As this semester, with my lowest grade being a 90 in Art. And I DID make an awesome painting in art that I will post some pictures soon. I DID find an awesome new band all by may self! It is called 3OH!3. I DID kick Ass in senior literature honors, getting a 96, probably the hardest class I’ve ever had. And I DID get a hair cut that I finally really like.

So just warning you the next time you say “Hey Nick what’s up?” you may be there for a while.

Rain King

So today it rained like nobody's business. I went from the gym to my school and it looked like I had taken a shower, and I ran, and then I had to walk up to my car. So I got home and I saw the bird I caught yesterday......ok that sounded really wierd. Ok so I found this House Finch:

http://www.birds.cornell.edu/AllAboutBirds/BirdGuide/House_Finch.html
and he was hurt and couldn't fly so I put it in a big plastic jar and then made a home using Trey's upside down rat cage and put bird seed and waster in it. and so I have been checking on it from time to time and it just sits there but after school today I saw him, or yea I named him Ro (sort for rojo) cause he's red, but I saw him eating today! it was so awesome I had been praying so much for him. I don't have the best experiences with bird, ask Trey. I was so excited because I thought it didn't know where the food was, I don't think it is stupid but I think it has been blinded. So yea Ro is doing well and I am happy for that.
I am doing better, I am no longer sick except for a minor cold, and to day I work out for the first time in a week and I feel good.
Also I wanted to talk about last Wednesday. I went to a Counting Crows concert and it was awesome! I took Marta, this time having enough money and not having to ask some for a quarter, and I met Devon and we took the train all the was to Lakewood. Then we took the shuttle to the amphitheater. It was a cool fall night and we spread out on the lawn, haveing to ajust a little back and forth to avoid the bobbing heads, and waited for the concert to start. The concert started and They can out and they called themselves "Augustana and everything after so and so are gone Counting Crows" because two of their band member just had babies and couldn't be there. They play a bunch of song and they were great. I really like that he talked about some of his songs and you got some insight into his life. My favorite song they played was Mr. Jones, it was good.
So after they played, Dev and I went to go see if we could find and meet the band by getting backstage by telling them that I have a terminal illness. We couldn't really finds backstage so once that failed we thought we would get some popcorn/$4.00 and to balance it out a small sprite/$3.00. Then we walked over to where they sell the merchandise and over priced as it was, we just fantasized over which ones we would want. After we got tiered of that, probably my favorite part of the night, we picked out the things that we wouldn't be "caught dead in public" wearing. we both picked out a Maroon 5 t-shirt that had the whole band standing there all creepily staring at you. Then we spotted another one where they are all dramatically strutting towards you. Devon chose that one and I stuck with the original one. Then we proceeded to guess what the people in line where going to buy, all while eating popcorn and savoring out sprite. Then Maroon 5 started and we walked on the very top back of the lawn to get back to our seats; it was really nice from up there, you could see everyone. We stayed for a few songs and then we left and took the shuttle back to marta where we exchanged phone so and played games while we waited for the train. Then the train came and we got on and then parted at the linberg(sp?) station. It was a really fun night.

Hanging Tree

You are probably wondering why this post is called 'Hanging Tree'. Well I'm not going to lie to you I was going to start you out with a quote from the song 'Hanging Tree' by Counting Crow......until I looked up the real lyrics.
I thought it was:
"This busy life of mine is hanging me up all the time, this busy life is just a hanging tree"
this is because I have been busy latley and I thought it would apply.
What it really says:
"This dirty life of mine is hanging me up all the time, this dirty life is just a hanging tree"
not the same thing....doesn't really apply...but still a good song, check it out, it does sound like Busy not Dirty.

So I said I've been busy, and its true. Your probably thinking 'oh he's in high school, its not that hard' and you probably will still be thinking that by the end of this post, but first let me tell you what been going on, you can be the judge.

So usually senior year is easy and you dont have alot of academic classes, well I only have one non-academic class and next semester I am going to have none. Some of my classes are pretty hard, like physics is pretty confusing and Lit is just hard, I have this essay which is on this short story called 'My First Kill', and yesterday I was trying to find out things about the author and I found this whole thing about the sybolism in the story and its so disturbing....if you want to check it out:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/57311/art_coelhos_my_first_kill_the_queering.html

So anyway the essay has to be 300-350 word and I have 500 words and dont have a finished introduction or even a conclusion, so I dont know if I'm going to have to shorten it or what. But yea being a level L at school (if you know what thats all about) is kinda a drag. I always have to be good and in uniform and we have meeting every thursday during lunch. Also I was just elected vice president of my senior class.....yay...I guess, I don't know how much work that is going to be. Also Every Thursday I help out in a after school kids program from like 3:15-5:00, oh and these are no normal kids, think of an annoying kid you know, now think of that annoying kid on crack! its that bad, but I get community service hours which I need 20 of per semester to be a Level L. Also I have been making an effort to work out everyday after school. so thats like a half and hour to an hour. There is also this crazy chick at school thank likes me, she has a boyfriend outside of school and one of my really good friend likes her....so that really annoying to have to deal with everyday cause my friend always act different around her and she sits with us during lunch and is in some of my classes. we also had standardized testing yesterday and no seniors before us had to take but but this year we did, and it was the exact same test as last year, the questions and everything was the same! so today I was suppose to take it but mom said I could stay home and help her out around the house.....I dont know if that was the best dicision, becuase I have to vaccume the whole house and then decorate it for Luke and Mimi's birthday and to do that I'll have to convince mom to buy decorations because we have like 2 things and she thinks that will be fine when in truth it will look like crap. And today my energetic cosin is comming today! should be fun.....RUN Ellie! RUN!!!!!

First day of school.

Ok so I'm sorry I never got to this before, since my first day of school was last monday, but I have been REALLY busy. So I am doing this post to tell everyone about my first day of school, here is how it went:
So sunday night I convinced my mom to let Ellie, my cat, sleep with me, big mistake. It was none of those nights where you just can't seem to fall asleep, of cource mom watching some foreign action movie with the volume blasting didn't help. I know what you thinking, "why didnt you ask her to turn it down?", well because it was so late that if I said anything she would probubly yell at me about not being asleep and then tell me I couldn't drive the car to school tomorrow, and I really wanted to drive to school. So I sucked it up and finaly got to sleep. but it was one of those night that you feel like you never actually fell asleep. Now this could be a story on its own, but no, my cat had to go and wake me up at 3:00 in the morning, purring and nudging me. And she was so happy, sitting on my head, on my stomach, on the bed, and then she just runs off like theres nothing wrong. so then I have to try to get to sleep....Again! I laid there for a good half an hour until I realised I was not comfortable and laid straght on my bed, like normal people, because I usually sleep diagnally on my bed. So I get to sleep and morning finally comes. I get ready and I eat breakfast, made by my mom or dad.....I cant remember. but anyways I get to drive to school! YAY! it was weird being alone, especially because I would drive that every day with my mom. So I get to school and park and go inside. I was nice to be back and see everyone. Suprizingly I wasn't tierd, probubly cause of all the excitement. So then we go to homeroom and we get our schedules and mine looked like this:
P1 Spanish V
P2 Senior Literature Honors
P3 Art 4
P4 Pre-Calculus
P5 Physics
P6 Senior Transition

So I went to spanish, it was fun and I think I am going to like that class. Then Sr Lit, I was very intimidated by that class, should be fun.....Then I had lunch and it was nice cause I had people to sit with, I thought I would only have like a few people because alot of my friends had graduated but it was a full table. After I had Art, I have it with this teacher I really dont care for, but at least I can practice my patients. Then Seth and I drove over to QT to meet Leah. We then walked over to Sonic, but since I am boycotting Sonic, I got a Coffee slushie and a bread stick. We sat at Sonic and talked about our first day, it was fun. Then Seth left and me and Leah talked for a little longer and then went our seperate ways. While driving into my drive I Jade's car was parked there and then I thought "huh.....Where's Trey's car?" which would have been parked next to Jade's car except for I was driving it....lol. Then I went into the garage with an armful of stuff and bent over to take my shoes off, not realising that my slushie was in my arms, it poured all over my shoes and the garage flour. so I rush inside to clean my shoes off and as I was cleaning it off I knock over my moms cup that was on the counter and waster goes all over the flour. Luckly Mom was on the phone and she didn't realise it. So after geting the shlushie off my shoes, the kichen flour, and the garage flour, I talked to mom about my day and then worked on a paper for summer reading that was due friday, then I ate dinner with mom and watched the Olympics, god the Chinese are good at diving. After I re-read half of my sumer reading book to find a certain quote that I ended up never using. After waisting all that time, it was time for bed. So I brushed my teeth, fed the rats, and went to bed.

Dare To Be

Ok, so today I decided to make a blog. My sister and brother already have one so I thoughts I'd make one too. So I picked the title "Thoughts Left Unsaid" because I guess I am blogging about things that just don't fit into regular conversation. Therefore they become "Thoughts Left Unsaid".

So as I changed out of my cat haired covered shirt and picked out a new shirt for the exciting evening I was anticipating, I chose my summer rally shirt, which is a shirt I got from a church retreat this summer. The theme of that rally was "Dare to be", and as I sat staring at the big, bold letters on the front of the shirt, I remembered all of the great times I had on that retreat and how the experiences impacted my life. It reminded me of a poem I randomly wrote a few weeks back at about 2:00 in the morning. And as my night turned out pretty uneventful I decided to create a blog and I will share this poem with you. Now I started this poem as a couple of lines running through my head  as I was brushing my teeth and I decided to write them down. Then I wrote some more until I I thought of this retreat I went on and that gave me the inspiration for the ending of it. So without further adieu, I hope you like it:

Day, night, and day again.

This endless cycle, but who shall win?

We all just ever search for more,

you seek this answer, you open the door.

But those who don't just fade away,

yesterday will never stay.

So ask yourself what you need

to give yourself a dream to feed.

You can succeed.

Don't just sit there,

don't just stare;

Start to care,

Start to Dare.....